The Myth of External Happiness
We’ve all been there—waiting for the promotion, the dream house, or even the weekend to bring happiness. Most of us think, when we get what we want, we’ll all of the sudden be happy. How many times have you told yourself ‘I’ll be happy when I lose some weight’? Maybe it has to do with making a certain amount of money. Could be relationship-based saying that you no longer want to be single. It’s even more difficult in the world of the internet. We’ve all played the comparison game, but it’s a game you can’t win.
Finding the truth in something can be the hardest part. Know that happiness is within you, and not around you. Nothing you have or want will ever make you happy. The only way to find happiness choose it. Sure, we’ve all had things happen to us and everyone has a story. But happiness is a choice rooted in how we react to life, not the life we’re given. This perspective flips the script, putting you back in control.
A Lesson from Julius Caesar
Even the mighty Julius Caesar had reminders of life’s impermanence. It’s said that during his greatest triumphs, he employed a slave whose sole job was to whisper, “This too shall pass,” in his ear. Why? To ground him, to remind him that neither victory nor defeat is forever. Life is transient, and so are its struggles. The key to happiness lies in understanding that moments, whether good or bad, are fleeting.
Struggles Unite Us
David Goggins, a man who embodies resilience, often speaks of the universality of struggle. “You can’t throw a rock and not hit someone who understands you,” he says. While it’s tempting to believe our hardships are unique, the reality is that everyone carries burdens. By embracing this shared humanity, we can shift from feeling isolated to feeling connected.
The same goes for the comparison game. Someone can have a dream life on Instagram but be battling the strongest demons. That perfect marriage? Maybe there’s infertility, financial woes, abuse, or infidelity. That promotion you wanted could have been one step forward and two steps back with more money but hating your life.
Choosing Happiness: The How-To Guide
- Reframe Your Perspective: Start seeing challenges as opportunities to grow. As Marcus Aurelius wrote in Meditations, “The impediment to action advances action. What stands in the way becomes the way.” Because something bad happened to you, doesn’t mean it will be bad forever. Use the experiences you have to choose the life you want.
- Practice Gratitude Daily: No matter how tough life gets, there’s always something to appreciate. Keep a journal or simply reflect on three things you’re grateful for each morning. I’m not one for lofty affirmations. Find something true and present tense. Instead of saying ‘I’m rich’ with $7 in your bank account, say “I’m better than I was yesterday”. Be proud of your accomplishments and reinforce that you are getting better.
- Focus on What You Can Control: You can’t control traffic, the weather, or someone else’s attitude. But you can control your reaction. By focusing on your response, you’ll find peace even in chaos. When someone speaks to you harshly, breathe before you respond. When you get dumped, don’t lash out. Always remember, ‘this too shall pass’.
- Cultivate Resilience: Remember Goggins’ words—struggle is universal. Use setbacks as fuel for your growth. The more you push through, the stronger you become. God doesn’t grant you patience. He grants you the opportunity to be patient.
FAQ’s
Isn’t happiness just a feeling?
Happiness is a state of mind, not a fleeting emotion. It’s built through habits and mindset shifts. That thought in your head isn’t real. It’s your perception based on your expectations. Realize and accept what it is.
What if I’m going through somethign really tough?
Hardships are part of life, but they’re not permanent. As Caesar’s reminder goes, “This too shall pass.”
How do I start choosing happiness?
Begin small. Focus on one habit, like gratitude or reframing negative thoughts, and build from there.
Your Turn: What’s Your Choice?
Happiness isn’t about waiting for the world to change; it’s about changing how you see the world. What’s one thing you can do today to choose happiness? Share your thoughts in the comments or start a gratitude journal. Small steps lead to big transformations.
Final Thoughts: The Power of Choice
As we’ve learned from Caesar, Goggins, and countless others, happiness is a choice you make every day. It’s not about the absence of struggle but about finding strength within it. At StudlyStuff.com, we’re here to remind you that joy is always within reach—you just have to choose it.